Behind Blue Eyes
by everfallingrain
Summary: When a horrific event takes place over the summer, Hermione feels that there is no one to turn to. Who will be her savior? Could it be the one person she's detested all these years? Please review.
1. Why

Chapter 1  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, But I wish I owned Draco ~drool~  
  
Hermione Granger woke to the sun shining brightly in her face. Cursing mildly at the rays of light, she sat up and swung her feet over the bed. The first two coherent thoughts that entered her mind were 'I'm finally at Hogwarts!' and 'Cold!' The floor of her room was freezing to the touch. Hopping from one piece of clothing to the next, Hermione slowly but surely made her way to the door. Stepping into the hallway Hermione looked towards Draco's door, 'Looks like Malfoy isn't awake, I really need to have a word with him about that truce.' In the bathroom, she studied her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. 'Wow' she thought 'I've really changed after all these years' Her hair cascaded down to the middle of her back in soft waves and her eyes had gotten lighter. They were now a honey brown with flecks of gold, which were rarely ever visible unless she was extremely angry or unbelievably happy. Her curves had finally set in this summer and where ever she went there were guys trying to ask her out. Some of the dates she had accepted, but most of them she had turned down. She had arrived to Hogwarts only the night before, when she had found out that she was the new head girl. Hermione was so thrilled. That is, until she found out that the new head boy was.Draco Malfoy. Dumbledore showed them to their room, a portrait with a man and a woman holding hands and looking at the stars, and told them the password, ~thinking about forever~. 'Senile old fool. What type of brainless password is thinking about forever?' she had heard Malfoy mutter under his breath. Glaring at him, she had walked into the room and gasped. It was the most beautiful place she had ever seen. The common room was massive. It walls were a beige color and trimmed with green and the green was trimmed with gold. Beige couches, red hearthrug, and a large fireplace completed the ensemble. Hermione's room was the same color scheme with a four-poster bed with red velvet curtains. The bathroom was tiled with green and the towels and the shower curtain were gold. Unable to keep her eyes open any longer, Hermione had amazingly found her way to her new room. As she crawled into bed, she had thought 'I have to live with that git for a whole year. Better think of some kind of truce,' and with that her head had hit the pillow. She walked back to her room to finish unpacking and put her uniform on. Turning to her wizarding stereo, she turned on the radio and it began singing Numb by her favorite band Linkin Park. It reminded her so much of herself. Ever since she had broken up with the most prestigious man in all of London, the muggle part any way, her parents have been nothing short of abusive towards her. She had bruises up and down her body from where they struck her repeatedly if she did anything wrong, and in their eyes, everything she did was a mistake. They wanted Hermione to be just like them. To her, her parents were the most arrogant people she had ever known, aside form Draco Malfoy of course. Her family was fairly rich, and Elizabeth and George Granger always told her that they should keep all of that beautiful, beautiful money in the 'family'. That family was made up of anybody that was as rich and snobbish as they were. Matthew Cunningham. How she detested that name. His date was one of the many that she had foolishly accepted. Thinking back to that one fateful night, she sat back on her bed in a daze. Tears began to prickle at the back of her eyes as she watched the event play back in her mind. "NO!" she sobbed, shaking her head vigorously from side to side, trying to force the images away. Trying to rid herself of the pain. All she really wanted was some body to talk to; somebody to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay. But there was no one. "Fuck it all then," she whispered to no one. "It was all my fault it happened to me anyway. I don't need anyone." Supposedly, Matthew was the best thing that could and would ever happen to her, and every time she was hit or punished, it was all done to make her a 'better person'. Hermione tried to tell her mother what had happened between her and Matthew, what had ensued the break-up. But Elizabeth would hear nothing of it. To her, her daughter was a painful disappointment, but if she wanted that lavish retirement she had always dreamed of, she would make the best of the situation and try to marry her off to some rich old fool. All Hermione wanted was their trust and love, but she knew that they were all about money and didn't really care about her. There was nobody to turn to. Nobody understood her. Not even Harry and Ron, her best friends, not really.  
  
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Hermione's first day at Hogwarts as a seventh year student wasn't anything too special. When she walked out of her room dressed and ready for the day, she found Malfoy sitting on one of the couches flipping through his potions textbook. Staring at the back of his head, she thought back through all the years he had taunted her. Form the moment she had walked into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to last night. Although he didn't say anything she could just feel the indifference for her radiating off of him. Gathering up her courage, she timidly walked around to his front and took a deep breath. "Malfoy, can I talk to you?" Hermione didn't give him a chance to answer before she jumped into her next sentence. "Well, I honestly think that this year we will be working closer together due to our head positions and to make things go smoothly and less dangerous for both of us, I propose a truce. We don't have to be friends or anything, but at least on a first name basis. I don't care what you think, this is going to happen." She finished in one breath as she stuck out her hand. Malfoy stared at it with a look of mild surprise on his face. "Okay. I think it's a good idea.Hermione." A half smile half smirk played at his lips as he shook her hand. He then stood up, gathered his things and walked out the portrait. Still standing there with her mouth open in shock, Hermione slowly turned around and stared at the portrait Malfoy had just went through. 'Wow,' she thought, 'I never thought I'd see the day when Malf- I mean Draco agreed with me. Although he has been acting strange. Almost civil.' She shook herself of this thought and left for the great hall. Walking down to breakfast, Hermione meet up with Ron and Harry.  
"Hello Hermione. Congrats on making head girl," Ron grinned madly and wrapping her up in a friendly embrace "How come we didn't see you on the train?"  
"Yeah, me and Ron turned the place upside down looking for you!"  
"Well." she started slowly "I had to help with the new prefects and the prefect meeting then I was on.Compartment Duty...yeah that's it."  
"Compartment Duty? I didn't even know there was such a thing." Said Ron.  
"Yeah, well they just made it up this year. You know to keep people from getting into fights and such. What? Do you think I'd hide form you or something? Anyway I think it's time we headed off for breakfast." Hermione smoothly lied. The truth was she wasn't really in the mood to be around people just yet. In the train, she had spent the entire trip hiding in a dark compartment in the back crying and drifting in and out of sleep. Thankfully she wasn't disturbed except for when Malfoy had walked in unexpectedly, but he had just given her a smirk and shut the door.  
Breakfast was business as usual. Ron inhaling the entire table and Harry not far behind. But Hermione wasn't feeling very well and ended up just pushing around her scrambled eggs. Her mind kept going back to that night that painful humiliating night. She had to fight to keep the tears in. Suddenly Harry rested his hand on her arm and whispered in her ear.  
"Are you ok Hermione? You don't look too good, almost green."  
"I fine Harry. Could you please not touch me right now? I have a lot on my mind." Looking at her confused and hurt he lifted his hand off her arm.  
After a while, when breakfast was almost over, Dumbledore stood and raised his hand as a sign of quite. In a few minutes the Great Hall was silent. "Well students it is now the first day of classes and hopefully you all make it on time." At this he glanced at Harry and Ron. They grinned sheepishly. "Once again I would like to congratulate our new head boy and girl Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. As you all know every year we have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. It's almost a tradition now. This year we have a most wonderful teacher. Once living in London, he has decided to come back and start teaching again full force. May I introduce Matthew Cunningham!" 


	2. Not Again

Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, But I wish I owned Draco ~drool~  
  
AN: Thank you sooo much for everyone who reviewed. I only got six but when I saw them I was like totally spazing! I'm a first time writer but a long time reader. Everything I've learned, I've learned from the best. I'm really glad that you all like it. Please keep reviewing. It keeps me so inspired! And remember: Peace and hot monkey lovin' are the best things in life!  
  
".Matthew Cunningham!" Dumbledore announced.  
  
All color drained form Hermione's face. She felt herself weakening and the blackness pinching in at the edges of her eyes, trying consume her. The floor seemed to be speeding towards her and the last thought that raced through her mind was "Not again, please not again."  
  
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Draco Malfoy sat beside Hermione's bed watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. He didn't know why he was there, but he felt some sort of obligation to be by her side. He supposed it was because she had the courage to come to him with the truce. He knew her wasn't the most pleasant person to talk to, but he tried it anyway. Professor McGonagall had come in to check on her when she had found him there. Eyeing him up and down she had allowed him to stay, but threatened him with three months of detention if anything was to happen to her. He had just rolled his eyes.  
  
So, to pass the time, Draco sat and thought about his life and all the trials he had been put through and witnessed. Lucius Malfoy. How he had always wanted to be just like him. As a child, he would follow his father everywhere he could. Talking like him, dressing like him and even to the extent of eating everything that his father ate. Draco thought that his life would end up like his father's. He would be powerful, strong, and everyone who met him would bow down to him because of his Malfoy name. But at the age of 15, he began to wonder, to what extent of pain and suffering must he cause people to get that position in life? He had seen the torture people were put through in his own house, the screaming and moaning still resounding in his mind. Was there not another way? He had asked his father this one summer evening, and that night he received the most brutal beating in his life.  
  
Inches from death, his mother had found him and nursed him back to health. Lucius being the backward, old-fashioned man that he was did not believe that a respectable woman of her status should be allowed to practice magic. Her husband was to be responsible all of those matters. For that reason, Draco's healing time was lengthy and had to be accomplished through the muggle way. He loved his mother dearly; she was the only one who remotely understood him. At night he cried himself to sleep as he heard his mothers screams of pain drift up from the dungeons. Narcissa Malfoy was a beautiful woman with flowing blonde hair and bright gray eyes. But over the years, those bright eyes had been dulled and her sprit broken by the man she had thought loved her. The only thing that kept her going was her son Draco, the hope that he would not turn out like his father and he one day would find someone to love him and he her. Suddenly a soft groan jerked him from his thoughts and he glanced around trying to find to find the source of the noise, eyes finally resting on Hermione.  
  
Hermione's eyes slowly fluttered open and she gazed bleary eyed at her surroundings. She couldn't figure out where she was or what she was doing laying down. All she knew was aware of two was sliver-blue eyes gazing down at her calmly. Finally piecing two and two together, she realized that it was Draco and she was in bed in her room. Remembering what had caused her to black out in the first place, she closed her eyes once again and began to shake.  
  
'What is he doing here? How could she not have noticed him before? Oh dear God, what am I going to do? I can't let anyone find out, no one at all. If they did.the humiliation would be unbearable. No, don't cry. Pull yourself together.' Heaving herself out of her thoughts, she once again recalled that Draco was in the room.  
  
"Malf.Draco?" she croaked. Her throat was rather parched and it hurt to talk. She reached over to her nightstand and began to a sip some water from the glass a house elf had placed there.  
  
"Yeah?" he smirked sitting back in the chair that he had pulled from her desk.  
  
"What exactly are you doing here?" She asked her eyes wide frightened. This was Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts' notorious Price of Ice and ruler everything that was evil. Just because they had made a truce this morning did not mean that they were friends of any sort, now merely acquaintances that happened to live together.  
  
Sensing she was rather terrified, he smirked and decided to play with her mind a bit. "What am I doing here? Oh I don't know Hermione. Maybe I'm here to cheat off of you for potions, but that would make any sense because the school year hasn't even started. Maybe I'm here because I want to use you to get information on Potter. Maybe Hermione, just maybe I'm here because I'd like to take advantage of that sweet petite body of yours." He whispered, getting closer and closer to her face. Placing his muscled arms on either side of her shoulders, he formed a type of cage around her.  
  
"P-p-p-please stop. I'll do anything. I'll g-g-give you anything. J-j-just please don't do it. Don't hurt me. Not again.please" Hermione stuttered, sobbing.  
  
Pulling back confused Draco looked at her. "'Not Again?' What do you mean? When have I ever hurt you?" Hermione curled into a tight ball and continued to cry. "Pull yourself together Granger. Geez. You really think I'd rape the likes of you?" Remembering the truce, he took a deep breath and sighed. "Look Hermione, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry or anything-"  
  
"Please, Draco leave." Hermione whispered looking up from her fetal position on the bed.  
  
"Hermione-"  
  
"LEAVE!" she shouted I'm so sick of you. You're an inconsiderate bastrard who thinks of nothing but himself! How could you do that?! You have NO idea what I've been through and I'll thank you very much no to ever mention tonight to me ever again!  
  
Taken aback, he glared at her, the maliciousness back in his eyes. "Oh don't worry Granger, you don't ever have to worry about me speaking to you again. You're not worth speaking to. Father was right, I should never associate myself with people lower that dirt." he said with a cool calm that scared her.  
  
He stalked angrily to the door. "I had really thought you had changed Malfoy. I was willing to give you a chance, to put all of these stupid house rivalries behind use and start over. Maybe even be friends. But no, you had to go and screw it all up by being the jerk you are.  
  
"Oh screw your self Granger!" he yelled as he slammed the door. 


	3. Discovering You

Hi everybody! I'm really sorry I haven't updated sooner. I've been busy with cheerleading and trying to throw a pep rally together in two weeks, which is not easy at all may I remind you plus I've had a major writers block so I sooooooooo sorry! OK with the Matthew Cunningham Character, I did not create him from Matthew McConaughey or whatever. I didn't even realize that it seemed that way until my brother pointed it out to me. I just stuck two names together!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Draco strode to his dark room and slammed the door closed. It was already nightfall and both he and Hermione had missed all their classes. Breathing heavily, he slid down the back of the door and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Father was right, I should never associate myself with people lower that dirt." Echoed through his mind. He had regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth 'Why,' he thought 'Why do I always have to push people away? Make them hate me more than they already do?' running a shaking hand through his hair, he pulled the white-blond locks almost to the point of pain. 'I promised my self over and over that I would be nothing like him.' Picking himself up, he staggered to the bed and lay down, wanting to scream out his pain.  
  
"Nothing," Draco whispered, "Nothing could be worse than the pain that I'm feeling now." Suddenly, his mind flew back to one certain object he had hidden deep within his trunk for safekeeping. He scrambled off his bed, down onto his knees and began to crawl towards his trunk. Throwing things from the wooden box, his hands finally landed on the sweet prize that would release him from all of his pain, and this time not just for a little while.  
  
Sitting back on his heals, he sighed in anticipation and licked his lips. Upon opening the black velvet satchel, a brilliant warmth spread through his body. The warmth of happiness and satisfaction that something dreadful and hideous will be over very soon. Draco slid the object from the bag and held it up to his face to inspect the glorious goods.  
  
"Aaaaa" he breathed "My knife. How long it has been since I have felt your razor-sharp blade pierce my marred skin. But I fear that this is the last time that either of us will see the other again." Bringing it down to his wrist, he felt the cool metal against his skin and shivered a little. "I have no regrets," Draco whispered, "Good bye mother. I always loved you and I always will................................wait no I can't do this," he continued his body beginning to quake violently, "mother...I remember when you first caught me slitting my wrists. You found me in my closet where I was hiding from father, after he beat me...you wouldn't stop crying...and asking where why you didn't trust your instincts...and ran away with me when I was first born. We ended up crying together all night that night. I still have so much to live for, for you, for me, and maybe just maybe... H-Her-Hermione." He stuttered out. "I never hated her, I just hated every thing about her, everything she stood for because she just seemed so perfect." Dropping the knife, he lay on his bed and let the tears fall.  
  
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Unbeknownst to him, the girl he was thinking of was sitting right outside his bedroom door. Hermione had stopped crying after a while and had come to apologize to Draco. She didn't know why she felt the need to do so, but she felt as if she needed to say sorry for blowing up at him, and maybe get some things off of her chest. Hermione felt that Draco had changed. He was different. Not different like his hair and clothes, different like something had happened to his sprit, his soul.  
  
Lying down in front of his door she heard something clutter to the floor and quiet sobs coming form Draco. '  
  
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Hermione had almost fallen asleep in front of Draco's door when she heard gentle singing and the soft plucking of guitar strings wafting out from under the door. Straining her ears to hear the words she closed her eyes and listened.  
  
No one knows what it's like  
  
To be the bad man  
  
To be the sad man  
  
Behind blue eyes  
  
And no one knows what it's like  
  
To be hated  
  
To be fated  
  
To telling only lies  
  
But my dreams  
  
They aren't as empty  
  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
  
My love is vengeance  
  
That's never free  
  
No one knows what it's like  
  
To feel these feeling's  
  
Like I do  
  
And I blame you  
  
No one bites back as hard  
  
On their anger  
  
None of my pain an' woe  
  
Can show through  
  
But my dreams  
  
They aren't as empty  
  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
  
My love is vengeance That's never free  
  
No one knows what it's like  
  
To be mistreated  
  
To be defeated  
  
Behind blue eyes  
  
And no one knows how to say  
  
That they're sorry  
  
An' don't worry  
  
I'm not telling lies  
  
But my dreams  
  
They aren't as empty  
  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
  
My love is vengeance That's never free  
  
No one knows what it's like  
  
To be the bad man  
  
To be the sad man  
  
Behind blue eyes  
  
By the end of the song, Hermione was in tears. She had never known he felt all of these things. Just like her he was dying inside and nobody was there to help him. Standing up, Hermione walked out of the portrait wanting some time to think about all that's happened on the first day of school. 


End file.
